Monday, December 21, 2009

Find My Family

On Monday nights there is a new series called "Find My Family." I have mixed feelings about this show. So here is a little about the show if you haven't already seen it. - Find My Family - About the Show: "We all know people who feel incomplete, searching for something to make them feel whole. The heartache of separation is difficult on all of us, but it’s hard to imagine the struggle for those wondering about family they haven’t seen since birth, or who don’t know if a loved one is even alive after decades of silence.
The producer of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition created this show with one simple mission—to bring families back together. With the help of a dedicated team of researchers, hosts Tim Green and Lisa Joyner guide people searching for lost loved ones through the emotional journeys that will change their lives forever.
Each episode is full of moving moments and tears of joy, when mothers, fathers, daughters and sons who lost touch for decades are reunited. First we learn the emotional back stories of each family in search of lost relatives. Then with minimal information, the Find My Family team begins the difficult and often frustrating process of sifting through archives and tracking down records until they uncover the missing links. Host Lisa Joyner reaches out to the newly-found family members to let them know that someone from their biological family has been looking for them. Tim Green narrates each story as it unfolds and meets with the people who originated the search. When a family is reunited, they all meet at the Find My Family “Family Tree.”"

As I watched this show tonight I just cried and cried. I just love shows like Extreme Home Makeover, but this show struck a different chord for me. My daughter who is 3 years old is adopted. Her birth mother lives in another state and Avielle has birth siblings. As I watched the show I thought about Avielle and how she will grow up and I thought about the challenges that we might encounter with her being adopted. I must admit that does overwhelm me. I am definitely a feeler in many ways and I can worry about the future.

When I was watching I kept hearing that there was a whole in their lives. I guess I thought that for Avielle that her daddy and I will fill that whole and she won't feel anything missing. Then reality came into the picture and I thought there will be a loss for her and that will be difficult for her, but my husband, me and God will be right there for her.

I am thankful everyday that I have Avielle in my life and that I'm her mother. I am extremely thankful to her birth mother who gave her to us to love and to raise. I truly know that God has an amazing plan for Avielle and I do have a peace in knowing that God is the one writing her story and that He is ultimately in control. He as asked her daddy and me to love her, protect her, and to bring her up in the ways of the Lord. I have complete peace that we are providing that for her. Time will tell the difficulties that we will face with Avielle and our other two, Anderson and Ellie.

I do like the idea of an open adoption, though I don't think that it is good for every situation, especially if the birth parents are not in a good situation. Avielle's birth parent's do receive pictures of her all the time and have access to her baby website and this blog. We are planning a trip in May to go meet her birth family. I'm both excited and nervous at the same time. I think that Avielle's age will be the perfect time for the two families to come together. I don't want there to be an acquired experience and being that she is 3 she won't really know if there is one. I want her to know that her birth family is not a secret, but that she will know them and know the love they have for her.

I think the reason that I was crying during the show is that each of the adopted kids felt like there was something missing in their lives. They were saddened that they had birth parent's out there that they didn't know. So, for Avielle I don't want her to feel like she is missing something, but I do want her to know her birth parents. I am her mother, but I want her to know her birth mother who carried her for 9 months and brought her into this world. Though I must be honest it is hard to share Avielle with her birth mother, but I know that I will overcome this with time.

So that is my thoughts. If you have adopted I would love to hear your thoughts!

1 comment:

  1. what a moving post. my husband and I watched the show yesterday and it was like waterworks over here. hugs momma.